Chris is quick to point out that his group's title doesn't imply celibacy. "It's called 'No Sex Gay Weekend.' Not 'No Sex Gay Life.'"
“I think a lot of people come away from the weekend feeling good about themselves, because they've let other people give them a chance at actually connecting.”
Have you ever heard of a gay weekend where the one thing nobody is allowed to do is have sex? No, this is not the setup for a particularly cruel reality show. It is an actual social project.
“The No Sex Gay Weekend is not saying gay men should have less sex. It is asking whether, every once in a while, we could have a little more of everything else. Friendship. Adventure. Conversation. Community. And, for one weekend, absolutely no swiping required.”
Gays say they're burned out on hookup culture: the apps, the ghosting, the pressure. A British content creator started a programme where gay men can spend time together without obsessing over sex, and this week it went viral on X.
“Jokes aside, the minds behind "No Gay Sex Weekend" are hitting on a cultural touchpoint. Gay life often does revolve around sex. And sometimes, we're looking for the other kind of "F:" friends!”
"No Sex Gay Weekend" was started by Brit Chris, who now has over 40,000 Instagram followers, to create space for gay men that isn't about sex and cruising. The initiative has become a success.
“We gay men are so used to 'the gay handshake', you know, that all our relationships with other gay men begin with flirting or having sex. And now maybe that gets broken.”
The No Sex Gay Weekend is meant to give guys a chance to get to know each other better without having their status anxiety triggered by cruising and flirting.
“Wouldn't it be nice to become mates first? To see if there might be a great friendship with someone you have wanked off?”
Longer conversations about why NSGW exists. Watch here, or on YouTube and Spotify.
Better Gay Dating
The power of in-person spaces as gay men
A 45-minute conversation on what NSGW is, where the idea came from, why meeting in person beats the apps, and how the weekends take the sexual charge out of a room full of gay men.
“It's no sex gay weekend, but actually the not having sex part is pretty minor. It's opening yourself up to people, putting yourself out there. We get rid of the fear of rejection, and we get rid of the having to reject people as well.”Chris
“It's gay guys coming together, meeting each other, making quality connections without the pressure of sexualising each other and themselves.”Chris
No Sex Gay Weekend intro / Building community & personal brand
An hour on how NSGW started, what running it has taught Chris, the residential at the manor, and building something from Madrid.
“It just allows you to come together and meet each other without an ulterior motive, without the pressure, and really get to know each other. People come away with friends, they come away with dates, they come away feeling good about themselves.”Chris
“I would love gay guys to feel good about themselves and make connections, make friends, meet their partner. That is the main dream of it.”Chris
What Happens When Gay Men Choose Connection Over Sex?
A 53-minute conversation about isolation in gay life, the apps, intimacy beyond the physical, and why a weekend with sex set aside makes it easier to be interested in someone.
“I just wanted it to be friendly and fun, not competitive.”Chris
“You can spend a Saturday, Sunday, or Friday to Sunday, with a group of 20 guys, and you can just get to know them and let them get to know you.”Chris
No Sex Gay Weekend: Creating Real Connection Beyond Grindr
Fifty minutes on what Grindr has done to gay culture, why saying hello in real life feels so risky, how the first weekends in Oxford, Valencia, Bath and Seville went, and the difference between Madrid and London.
“The whole thing is just a pretext to get to know each other.”Chris
“It feels really easy to have sex with a randomer, that feels safe, and yet saying hello to someone, 'how are you', feels very dangerous somehow.”Chris