SEX-FRITT (Sex-Free)

By Ronny Larsson for QX Magasin, March 2026, pages 40 and 41. Translated from the Swedish and reprinted with permission; the original spread is at tidning.qx.se.

Chris invites gay men to cruise-free weekends

"No Sex Gay Weekend" was started by Brit Chris, who now has over 40,000 followers on Instagram, to create space for gay men that isn't about sex and cruising. The initiative has become a success.

No Sex Gay Weekend was born after a — admittedly enjoyable — weekend in Torremolinos, where 34-year-old Brit Chris realised that most gay men are primarily after sex, and only make contact with people they find attractive and could imagine sleeping with.

"The realisation made me depressed, so I listed what makes me feel fulfilled and happy — but also what makes me feel worthless," he tells QX.

After filling a couple of pages, he turned over a leaf and wrote: NO SEX WEEKENDS.

And right there the idea for No Sex Gay Weekend was born — an initiative that brings gay men together in a non-sexual context where people are encouraged to abstain from sex, cruising, and commenting on who is or isn't attractive.

"I wanted to find out how easy it would be to make contact with others if sex wasn't the 'currency'. The environment and context create the hunt for sex just as much as we ourselves do — and every time we participate in it, it continues and the pattern is reinforced even more."

Chris has lived in Madrid for a year, having previously lived in London. A cousin drew him to the Spanish capital and he wanted to explore whether it was the fantastic city he'd experienced on holidays. "Pretty quickly I realised I wanted to make friends and maybe find someone, but I ended up finding treats at a bakery."

"After 15 minutes my work was done and the people who'd gathered had clicked and wanted to carry on the party."

Last autumn, 30 NSGW guys visited the British city of Oxford for a weekend where they among other things took a city tour, went punting, had dinner, had a picnic, and visited a jazz club.

"It was a great success and despite nobody knowing each other beforehand, the guys bonded and it was a warm, close social atmosphere. Since the start there have been trips to cities like London, Bristol, and Seville — and now in April a weekend at a British country estate under the title Lords of the Manor awaits."

Gay venues are closing and we're living on apps...

"Yes, one hundred percent. I think more and more people want something else. I'm not unique in this. I put the question to my Instagram followers and 90 percent of them said it sounded like a good idea to explore No Sex Gay Weekends."

Do many people come alone, or do people come with friends?

"I'd say ten percent come with friends. Most people come alone, although bringing a friend is of course welcome. And for those in open relationships, this is also a great way to make friends."

Everyone thinks it's a good idea on paper, but in practice people still sit at home on Grindr...

"Absolutely. You have an app and you're horny. And you want to meet someone. I have nothing against people having sex — it's the attitude that it's ALL about that which I find tiring. I don't want to forbid people from cruising — I give people the option to choose a break from it for a while. I just want to make it easier for people to talk to each other, to become involved in each other's lives..."

The meetups only run Saturday to Sunday — are you not thinking of making them longer?

"No Sex Game week? You can imagine how that would end (laughs). People ask me what would happen and whether people would have sex. Well, if two people genuinely like each other and haven't had sex for, say, four days, and they've managed to hold to that, I think they really have an incredibly solid foundation for something special afterwards. We gay men are so used to 'the gay handshake' — you know, that all our relationships with other gay men begin with flirting or having sex. And now maybe that gets broken. I just think it sounds fun that you can meet other gay men without it needing to involve sex or cruising."